Today, I'm not a sweet girl, I'm a Dai girl.

Here is a travel guide to Xishuangbanna: To all the corporate slaves drained by city life, welcome to Xishuangbanna—a place where even the laziest person can be cured! Here, you can be a lazy bum with a clear conscience, because even the plants here live a lazier life than you (just look at those chill tropical plants). 🛞 Transportation Guide: ✈️ By Plane: It is recommended to fly directly to Gasa International Airport. Don't think about saving money by transferring flights. The money you save will eventually turn into funds for two more barbecue meals at the night market in Gaozhuang. 🚏 Local Transportation: Please use Didi for taxis. If you hail a car on the roadside, you may encounter a "wild driver" giving you a "Xishuangbanna F1" performance. Shared electric bikes are a good thing, until you find out that it takes 3 hours to ride to the botanical garden... 🏞️ Must-Visit Attractions 1️⃣ Xishuangbanna Tropical Botanical Garden, Chinese Academy of Sciences (East District) Here, you will deeply understand what it means to be true to your nature. The Victoria water lily can carry a child, but it may not be able to carry your weight. Don't try it, the security guard will scold you. Remember to turn off your phone when watching fireflies at night, and don't use the flash to turn on a disco for the bugs. 2️⃣ Wild Elephant Valley Seeing wild elephants depends entirely on luck, but if you don't see wild elephants, you can still watch the elephant school performance. Friendly reminder: Elephants are better at playing soccer than you are, accept this fact. 3️⃣ Manting Park + The Grand Buddhist Temple The Dai King's back garden. If you take photos and post them on WeChat, you will be asked, "Did you go to Thailand?" Remember to bring a coat. If you are dressed too revealingly at the Grand Buddhist Temple, you will be asked to put on traditional Dai clothing—instantly transforming into a "Dai concubine on the run." 4️⃣ Gaozhuang Xishuangjing + Starry Night Market The largest night market in Asia is not just for show, it is recommended to go on an empty stomach. But don't get excited when you see "Laos Iced Coffee," don't blame me if you have insomnia in the second half of the night. Remember to bargain when taking Dai costume photos, don't end up being a sucker. 🥯 Food Recommendations: 🥞 Breakfast: Have a bowl of rice noodles. Yunnan people are as serious about breakfast as they are about life. 🍱 Lunch: Dai Flavor Hand-Grabbed Rice. The reason for eating with your hands is finally justified. 🍲 Dinner: See you at the barbecue stall! Lemongrass grilled fish, grilled pork belly... Losing weight? Not a chance. - Dessert: Paruta, this carbohydrate bomb combination of bread soaked in coconut milk is so delicious it's criminal. 🏠 Accommodation Recommendations: - If you want excitement, stay in Gaozhuang. You can go downstairs for supper at night, but the cost is that you may still hear someone downstairs shouting "Boss, another order of oyster omelet with mango" at 3am. - If you want peace and quiet, stay in Wanda Resort, where it's so quiet you can only hear birds chirping and your own stomach growling. 🆖 Anti-Pit Guide: 🙅‍♀️ Any driver who says they will take you to see a "mysterious village" will eventually take you to a shopping spot. 🙅 The "Musang King Durian" at the roadside fruit stand is mostly fake. Real Musang King will not appear here. 🙅‍♂️ Check your bank balance before buying Pu'er tea, don't get carried away and buy an entire tea mountain. 🌹 Final Advice: In Xishuangbanna, please automatically slow down your pace of life by 0.5x. The tropical sun here will melt away your anxiety, and the smiles of the Dai girls can heal your EMO. Remember, being a lazy bum here is not a sin, it is following nature! 🔔 Final Friendly Reminder: Please reserve 3 kg of space in your suitcase for dried mangoes on the return trip, don't ask me how I know.