Lavender House Bed & Breakfast

We comforted ourselves by deciding that this was probably the closest we'll ever get to staying at Faulty Towers. Lavender House is run by an elderly couple in their own large home, with Linda playing a kindly version of 'Sybil' and John playing the grumpy & nosey 'Basil'. Basil generally spent his energy criticising Sybil (and women generally) rather than trying to make us feel welcome. The apartment was clean and tidy with comfortable bed but poorly equipped kitchen (with a sign reminding us to clean up after ourselves). The sliding doors to the verandah and (interrupted ocean views) were were salt-sprayed and murky. The main disappointment was that the outdoor spa was not part of the Honeymoon suite but located on another deck accessible to all guests and only available between 5-9pm or by special arrangement. When we asked to use it Basil grumbled that it wasn't warm, it needed to be turned on with 12 hours' notice and we hadn't warned him in advance. We had to take the top off ourselves and we tried it out after a few hours heating. It was tepid but fine on a hot day and might have been better later that evening, but he announced we weren't allowed to use it more than once a day. The next day it was still barely luke-warm. In my brother's room there was a noisy old fridge (my brother turned it off the second night to get a better sleep) and strong cooking smells in the morning. Our cooked breakfast was cold when served the first morning but much warmer and nicer the second morning. The locks on the doors and arrangement of air conditioning were gerry built and difficult to use. There is a large building site next door but luckily it wasnt noisy the days we were there. Disconcertingly Basil seemed to spend a lot of his time keeping an eye on us. He complained of never getting a holiday although it was Sybil who seemed to do most of the work. We tried to be pleasant guests but we felt fairly affronted overall. I think we paid about double what the the accommodation was worth.