Sunshine32599609628
March 28, 2025
If you're somehow lucky enough to attend a hockey tournament in the area and someone suggests staying here, do yourself a favor and fight back till you are thrown in the Penalty Box! The only exception to this rule is if your idea of a vacation is zero fun, a 10 p.m. curfew (yes, for ADULTS), and the pleasure of leaving your expensive hockey gear in your car overnight, in a sketchy neighborhood. Let me take you through the luxury that is this hotel: Upon arrival, you’ll nearly miss your turn because you’ll be too busy staring at the glaringly bright "MOTEL" sign and thinking, "Am I in the wrong neighborhood?" But alas, you'll have to abruptly turn into the parking lot of a run down gas station and drive on through to the Best Western Elkhart. Once inside, you'll be greeted by hotel staff who will act as if your very presence has inconvenienced them beyond measure. Don’t worry, they'll rush you through signing a CODE OF CONDUCT that you won’t have time to even skim (it’s practically a race!). This privilege is also extended to those who arrive at midnight after a five-hour drive, so welcome to the party! After signing away your rights, they’ll quickly stow your signed document, making sure you’re blissfully unaware of any rules you’ve just agreed to break. Next, you’ll head to your room, which will smell... interesting. Could be mildew, could be mystery juice... you’ll never know. But wait, there's more! The bathroom will feature lovely black spots (mold, anyone?), water damage on the ceiling, and—plot twist—no towels! So, back to the front desk where you’ll be gifted the hotel’s last four "clean" towels—lucky you! After this exciting start, you’ll enjoy access to the world’s smallest elevator, which has to accommodate three other hockey teams. Breakfast? Questionable at best. And the lobby? Tiny, of course. And, oh yes, you’ll be fined for gathering there as a team. Because who wants a hockey team to actually, you know, bond? The cherry on top: a 10 p.m. curfew for everyone, because nothing says "enjoy your stay" like being treated like you're 12 years old. Don’t bother looking for the curfew notice, though—it’s only in the CODE OF CONDUCT that you signed under duress. Days after your stay, you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that your account has been charged a $100 fine for a violation you were never warned about. But don’t worry, the hotel manager will eventually get back to you—in weeks. In the meantime, the Sales Manager, Dawn, will bless you with unprofessional emails and phone calls for some, and ignoring others, while maybe responding to your complaint—if you're lucky! And don’t forget, her favorite pastime is sending passive-aggressive emails about how your "team" caused the issue. If you’re upset about your $100 fine, why not go all in? Dawn will assure you that other teams have upgraded to a $250 fine, or maybe a 1 a.m. eviction—that’s always fun! As Dawn so kindly put it in her email to other parents, all while blissfully